I was recently in discussions with a close friend of mine who was having a BMW
(bitch, moan & whine) about everything that was wrong in his world. It was quite a sad conversation as I didn’t think he had much to moan about and he just took pleasure in whining.
I asked him a very powerful group of questions that I ask myself on many occasions when I’m feeling a bit fed up.
- – are you Healthy?
- – are you Wealthy?
- – are you Wise?
Simple questions but we all have friends, family members or work colleagues who cannot answer positively to all of them. So if you can answer yes to all of them, what have you really got to whine about?
My friend’s answers were stuttering â€“
Yes, he was healthy, well relatively (in his eyes) due to a back problem that he had been suffering for a while and carrying 1-2 stone in excess weight.
Yes, he was wealthy – owns a nice house in a great neighbourhood, no it’s not as big as some other people he aspires to be like but still it is pretty large.
Yes, he is wise – educated, with a good job and the love of his partner and child who are also both healthy.
How many people do we know who aspire for all of that? So what has he really got to whine about?
The issue comes I believe from the focus on material wealth and symbols of status which means we forget the things that truly matter as we never give ourselves time to focus on them. We have all lost friends and family to illnesses such as cancer and we all manage to continue to stride on and do the best hat we can.
When we are hit by tragedies that just can’t be explained, that come from out of the blue, it can require a great deal of recovery and support; and for a period of time we cannot answer positively to the HWW questions.
I am no bereavement or grief counsellor – help from experts is available meaning that no one should be on their own at such a time, however long that takes to come through.
It doesn’t have to be as severe as a tragic story; there is always someone else in a far worse situation than you currently are, no matter how bad you think it is.
So when you are howling at the moon and Mood Hoovering those around you searching for someone who will listen to your BMWing, just STOP. Ask yourself three simple questions:
- – am I Healthy?
- – am I Wealthy?
- – am I Wise?