This is something we all have to deal with in various guises every day throughout our lives. Sometimes it can be the simple ‘no’ on your lottery numbers or the petrol station is out of fuel and you have to go limp on to the next station vs. the bigger rejections of a professional or personal manner.
The big ones can really hurt when taken personally however in business nine times out of ten it is not meant personally. We dealt with rejection at school, in our sports and in our hunt for that perfect job, so why then does a rejection feel so much more painful and hurtful as you get older?
For the purpose of this newsletter I want to focus on the business rejection rather than the personal ones â€“ having seen friends go through ugly divorces and separations over the years I do want to be clear we are focussing on the business relationships here.
I believe chemistry is the primary criteria â€“ without having the right chemistry the relationship has potential to always be an uphill struggle. This doesn’t mean it is doomed to failure or that we should only ever do work with people we connect with, but it does mean we need to focus in on how we connect with those who are not mirror clones of ourselves. They don’t necessarily have the same interests as you or the same background which means their life filters and conditioning will be different to yours.
In the world of ‘proactive sales calling’ rejection is part of the process â€“ the more you get a no, the closer you are to getting a yes. People who thrive in this arena of business development are treated as gods or weirdoes because the majority of us just can’t handle getting rejected in this way. The training technique to remember is that the more true to yourself and what you are offering the better quality the yes’s will become. From these people you can then build really long term relationships rather than Faffing About with the high maintenance Mood Hoovers that bring you minimal pleasure or profit.
The simple fact is that you have never been chosen first for everything throughout your life, so why should you be now! Rejection is part of life; you know that so get on with it. The phrase I use after rejection is simple â€“ just one word – â€œNextâ€. I can’t afford the time or the psychological yo-yoing that can bring down my focus or productivity all because someone has said no, it is just not worth the anxiety or mental anguish. â€œNextâ€ opportunity please!